11 Months Later 

Wow. It has almost been one year since I’ve taken the time to write. Not only have I found the Lord in a deeper way but I’ve found myself. 

November was the last month I spent in Traverse City. It was bittersweet but meant to be. I wasn’t making good money and my friends weren’t the best. I had been praying for the Lord to reveal the truth out of everyone around me. So, He did just that. My friendships tore into pieces, the jobs (yes, jobs) I had were falling apart, and I started realizing where God wanted me. I packed up everything and left. This wasn’t as easy as it sounds. It was actually a living nightmare. I was stressed, depressed, and unmotivated. I had gained so much weight. I wasn’t feeling me. I felt off. My time was just up. 

I moved back with no job lined up…it was that sudden. The bills weren’t being paid on time and my car was about to be collected. There was nothing I could do besides throw my hands up and surrender.

“Take my worry, Lord!”

Within 10 days I had been blessed with the best family I could have ever imagined. I’m still nannying like I did in traverse city. I’m making double what I was and now I’m living in an apartment with my dog. ROOMMATE FREE. The Lord is good!

So, in the meantime The Lord has set up an amazing opportunity for me. I joined “Ladies Night” at my church and found myself. I knew I was supposed to empower women but I wasn’t sure what it was exactly. The first meeting was about human trafficking. My heart filled up and I instantly knew I had to become a part of it. Here I was. Barbara, who thought she was going to be taking care of children in youth ministry… nope. 

Without the experiences I gained moving away… I wouldn’t be where I am today.

The Lord has no deadlines. 

The road to eternity is endless. 

Never be too comfortable. MOVE. 


All Things New

It was a long two weeks. I’m finally on track and ready to make money! I moved without knowing how much money the Lord was going to provide. I left my comfortable life living as a dental assistant with extra cash in the bank to do whatever I wanted. I gave up everything trusting in what the Lord had planned for me. I got a job at the Great Wolf lodge, Grand Traverse Resort, and a Nanny position for a lovely family. The Lord has blessed me with a nanny job that pays the exact same amount as the dental office paid me. I decided to leave the Great Wolf Lodge because it didn’t seem right to me. I am starting at the Grand Traverse Resort this week as a server. I’m completely excited to see who I’m going to run into and what conversations I’ll be having.

Throughout this journey I have already realized that God will take care of you! He will provide every need…you just have to trust in Him.

Please join me in prayer as I begin my new life!

love always- B

“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care — then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:1-4‬ ‭

God Saved Our Lives at Pictured Rocks

The Lord has been on the MOVE!

The day I moved into Meghan’s apartment we set off on a camping trip we planned for several months. In our original plans Nick was the one who was going to take us. The night our friendship began we planned to go on this camping trip on our own (Read previous post). The Holy Spirit told us something big was going to happen on this trip. We knew we wanted to go up to Pictured Rocks in the Upper Peninsula but something told us not to plan. All we brought with us was water, granola bars, apples, gatorade, a sweatshirt, sleeping bags, and a tent. The Holy Spirit told us He was going to guide us in every step we took. We had absolutely no worries.

We left the apartment at 11pm and arrived at the campsite parking lot at 5am. Meghan drove the whole time and managed to survive off coffee. I slept for a few hours. As we parked our car we instantly put our backpacks on our shoulders, looked at a map, and headed off on the trail.

The funny thing is Meghan said it’s usually a really busy place. There were only about 3 other cars parked. We had the whole trail to ourselves. As we enjoyed the view and our alone time with Jesus we stopped to pick up a leaf. We asked God if nature could talk to us. The unique veins on the leaf spoke to us saying “they’re living” if they’re living they can speak. Eventually we realized the whole forest was glowing. We were so high on the spirit we felt as if we were in heaven. We barely had any sleep yet we were climbing huge slopes, dunes, and rocks. We asked Jesus to give us flowers and we asked Jesus to give us revelation on this trip. 

We realized we forgot our lighter for the fire. I said “Someone’s going to help us with a fire tonight.”

Four hours later we come across the beautiful coves. This area of Pictured Rocks literally looked like a caribbean getaway. We decided to place our tent there. We enjoyed the presence of God as we swam, ate, read the word, and even took a nap under the coves. The Lord was so good to us that day. We found flowers in sand. Beautiful purple flowers.

As the sunset Meghan and I sat on the coves listening to the water and enjoying the peaceful view. We talked about life and what God has in store for us. The presence was so strong the Holy Spirit was talking to us and through us. The Holy Spirit told us the next time we visit this place our husbands will be with us…taking a picture of us in front of the sunset. It was the most amazing experience. The Lord put a vision of what our husbands would look like in Meghan’s eyes. Our future was so bright we could sense and see it. We knew everything was going to workout even though we couldn’t see anything. We prayed for God to give us revelation and to stir our lives completely for His glory.

Meghan picked up my phone and began to take a video of the sunset. She put the phone down but something told me to pick it up and watch it. I saw an unusual orb flying around…I knew in my heart it wasn’t just the sun’s reflection. It was flying everywhere. I showed Meghan and took a few more videos. I heard the orb tell me to look at the sun. Meghan and I glimpsed at the sun… we could see right through it. It is absolutely impossible to stare at the sun…we were. We saw what looked like a portal to heaven as if we could instantly grab it with our fingertips. We then saw angels jumping around dancing and holding hands. We saw golden gates, everything was gold. There was a huge bridge bricked with gold. It was the most glorious thing I’ve ever seen. When the sun set there was light, it lit up the whole sky. We then saw Jesus sitting on a huge throne. It began to disappear as I heard the Holy Spirit tell me “I have so much stored up here for you but it isn’t your time yet. We have to go but this is temporary”.

The sky was dark. The moon lit up the sky with a few stars next to it. We went back into our tent to read the word. As we were reading our lives changed.

A man came up to our tent. He asked us for water and began telling us that he lost track of the time. His name was lee. Lee told us he was from lansing and asked us a few questions like “Do you have a permit?” and where we were from. We told him where we were from and gave him the last of our water. He said he was going to find his friends.

A few moments later something didn’t feel right. I tried to fall asleep but I was anxious. I heard the Holy Spirit tell me that we need to keep moving. I was questioning it. “Why?! It’s so dark and the car is so far! How will we get there?!” Meghan turned to me as these questions were popping up in my head.

Meghan: “The waves are getting pretty loud.”

Me: “Yeah. They are.”

Meghan: “Barbara, I don’t think we’re supposed to stay here.”

All of a sudden we heard the most clear wave hit the cove saying “MOVE” I will NEVER forget how I heard the wind and the waves speak to us that night.

We instantly moved. We began putting on our sweatshirts and stuffing everything into our backpacks. We even stuffed the tent into a bag. We left things that didn’t matter. With the help of angels we packed our bags in less than 10 minutes. It was unreal.

As we turned on our flashlights from our iPhones Meghan said “I’ll tell you why we need to move when we get to the car but we need to MOVE FAST.”

I began walking and heard “Lee” then I visioned our campsite full of blood. Blood was EVERYWHERE. I KNEW Lee was sending people to hurt us. At the moment I saw the blood Meghan said “The Holy Spirit told me to tell you to focus on Jesus, Barbara.” I was amazed and knew that this whole thing was real at this point. Our lives were in danger. This was my worst fear becoming reality. We were power walking up huge slopes. All of a sudden we approach a huge flight of stairs. I was in the front and Meghan was following me behind. I was struggling but her backpack literally pulled me forward. As this was happening she heard voices behind her. The Holy Spirit told her not to look back and if she did it was going to be over. My soul was screaming but my body was calm. It was the most surreal moment of my life.

Meghan began panicking telling me to try calling 911 but of course there wasn’t any signal out there and no one would have been able to find us in time. We felt trapped and hopeless but we knew somehow someway God was going to guide us.

Just as we got up the flight of stairs I smelled a camp fire. We saw to our left a family sitting by a campfire. We instantly ran towards them. As we did the Holy Spirit told me that they were family. I instantly felt safe and secure. There were two men, about four children, and two women. They said that we were safe with them then they began helping us put our tent back up. They offered us food and water. Funny enough we found out they were strong christians. HALLELUJAH! ABBA!! We were in such shock and amaze at everything.

Meghan looked at me in the tent that night before we fell asleep “Barbara, God guided us to a fire tonight.” 

The Lord, Jesus Christ, God himself saved us that night. We put all of our trust in Him. He held our lives in His hands. I will never forget this night. It sure reminds me to be grateful for where I live. We could be in a country like Iraq where christians fight and hide for their lives every single day! I forever pray for those in danger. Father, you are good ALL THE TIME.


My Life Is Changed

Shortly after I wrote “You Are Not Alone” my life has changed drastically. God stripped all of my friends who seemed to be good for me out of my life for good. God shook me and stirred a new life before my eyes. Before I skip details I want to share with you everything He has done for me in the past month…This part of my testimony is incredible. I have learned a deeper meaning of the love God has for every one of His children. God’s love is beyond anything we can EVER imagine. Regardless of the sin in our lives, He forgives and renews our souls. We will FOREVER be His child. We are FOREVER saved. FOREVER written in the lamb’s book of life. Ready to be mind blown? Okay…hold on tight!

Before I tell you the story there is a lot of background information that you need to know. I was at a low in my life of 2 years living in sin full of drugs, sex, and alcohol. I was blessed with an amazing job, my dream car, and a successful school year. In November 2015, one of the partners I had claimed I gave him an STD. After being torn apart I heard the Lord tell me “Barbara, You’re hurting me.” I cried not only for the fact I was hearing something I thought I’d never heard but not only was I torn because I was a virgin 2 years before this event but I had ultimately broke the promise I made to my first love, Jesus. I went to the doctor torn apart and got tested. Turns out I never had the disease…the boy I was with just wanted to get rid of me. Shortly after I prayed for the Lord to bring a man into my life who loved God as much as I did.

In December, 2015, I became friends with a man named Nick. A man who was in love with the Holy spirit. Someone who spent most of his time devoting himself in the word and spreading the good news of Jesus Christ. A man who I shared a spiritual connection with. He became my best friend and eventually more than that…so I thought.

In March, Nick met a girl named Meghan. He brought up how I should meet her. How we would definitely get along. How we would be best friends. How we have a lot in common. Now my friend Nick lives about 4 hours away…this is where he met Meghan.

As time went on Nick and Meghan became closer and closer. Although I knew in my heart that they had a deep spiritual connection as did I with Nick…Nick always claimed that she was just a great friend of his. He claimed to never have attraction for her, always saw her as a sister, didn’t want to hangout with her much because he sensed she liked him as more, and claimed he didn’t see her much. I knew in my heart it couldn’t be true because she would send me snapchats, pictures of them together constantly. I found myself getting nauseous over this. It was almost as if I was stuck in a 3 way relationship because Meghan and I would pray for each other, talk through social media and text messaging. We both felt in our hearts we needed to talk. I guess it was the holy spirit always at work in us but at times I felt as if it was a “fake” friendship.

In June, 2016, Nick began talking about Meghan to me and he did the same to her about me. We slowly figured out he wasn’t a true friend.

The night I wrote “You Are Not Alone” I called Meghan via FaceTime. I had a burden in my heart that I needed Jesus to heal. I heard Him say “Cast all your cares to me. Call Meghan and tell her everything you feel.” So I did. I admitted my bitterness, embarrassment, and resentment towards her. I admitted that I felt like she took my best friend away from me. She forgave me. Instantly I felt the love of Christ that night. I heard the Lord say “I love you.” I realized that God was the only person I needed in my life.

A week went by. During this week the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to a deeper love and clarity. I realized that Nick had been preaching false doctrine. I finally realized how much the Lord loved me and everyone in the world. Our God is not a hateful God! Hallelujah!

On that Thursday, I received a long text message from Meghan stating that she and Nick became closer than they ever intended. That they had a spiritual encounter that they were meant to marry each other. Although Meghan felt I would be upset, I was genuinely happy. Maybe I was happy for the fact I didn’t have to deal with it anymore…I didn’t have anxiety for once in my life because that man was out of my life for good.

As this week goes by Nick calls me to tell me how he doesn’t feel he’s making the right decision. He doesn’t like Meghan as more than friends, etc. As I was talking to him on the phone something didn’t feel right. I made an excuse and hung up the phone. I continued to pray for Him and felt in my heart to pray for Meghan even harder than I had before.

Meghan and Nick broke up. I could see she was upset over social media. I continued to text her to let her know I was there for her. She drove down to her parents house (1 hour away from my house). The Holy Spirit led me to meet up with her that night. Before we met the Lord placed in my heart peace and contentment. I didn’t know what this girl was about to say or how she was feeling…So I was a little nervous but I trusted things would work out fine because the Lord is with us. I heard the Holy Spirit tell me “It’s time” So I was ready to tell her the truth and nothing but the truth.

When we met up the whole truth came out. Nick had lied and deceived the both of us. We drove 3 hours to confront him. We needed to do this. On our way up we had an encounter with the Holy Spirit. We felt a heat wave (when the air conditioning was on), our body became numb, we cried, had chills, and I felt a presence on top of my head. It was the most indescribable feeling of my life. From that point on my knowledge and understanding of scripture has been clear as day. The Holy Spirit told Meghan that our lives are changed and that we will be best friends for the rest of our lives.

From that moment on, we HAVE been best friends.

I have had 2 encounters with the Holy Spirit. He told me I’m meant to evangelize.

Within this time Meghan told me I’m meant to live in Traverse city…I didn’t want to believe it because of the job I had at the moment and everything going on seemed to be perfecting flowing. I then heard “If you want to work for me you can’t be comfortable.”

From that statement alone, the rest is history. I’m moving in with Meghan this Thursday. We are going to start our ministry studies at global university. I have 2 jobs in Traverse City waiting for me. I have a church that is devoted to missions which I’m going to get involved in with her. I have a sister the Lord has blessed me greatly with. Although I’m missing great detail I’m utterly mind blown about how the Lord brought my best friend into my life. He speaks to the both of us on a spiritual connection that we thought we were both getting with our “Friend”, Nick. He has blessed us with more than we could have ever imagined. He is good ALL the time.

I move in 4 days. For once in my life I’m at peace. I’m not stressing, I don’t have anxiety, and I’m not worried. The Lord is at complete control. I surrender my LIFE to Him. Stay tuned to see where the Lord leads me and my sister, Meghan!



“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16  



The Lord Never Disappoints 

As I was looking at this picture the Holy Spirit showed me how detailed my fingerprints are. Every single one of God’s creations are made individually divine and perfect in His own ways. There is never going to be another you!

Later that day I lost the coin. One of my good friends had gotten it for me during my hard times at work so I was kind of bummed to find that I had misplaced it. The Holy Spirit spoke to me saying that someone else needed to see it. A week later, I find it on one of the counters at work. The Lord never disappoints!

 “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭23:1-6‬ ‭

You Are Not Alone

Last week I started a new routine. Instead of working, heading to the gym, and going out with friends I decided I needed to change my life up a bit. I started hiking with Jesus. This has been by far the best decision I’ve made recently. I catch myself getting trapped in satan’s lies of loneliness. Instead of wasting time to find new friends, I need to take the time to strengthen and grow my relationship with Jesus.

Yesterday, I started walking through trails I had never been on. I started to talk with Jesus about how I’ve been feeling lately. Of course, He already knew I felt lonely. I knew He was there and I knew He could hear me but I didn’t feel the Holy Spirit in my heart. I began sensing feelings as if someone was behind me, following me. I began to recognize this is only satan who is trying to deceive me. Satan is the only one who wouldn’t want me to go on this walk…I thought about turning around because I was creeped out but I didn’t. I started to sing the name “Jesus”. As I started singing my soul felt uplifted, I felt a sense that the devil was gone and all that was left was me and God in the woods together. Okay, there were mosquitos too but it’s all good! All of a sudden I’m walking on this beautiful bridge and I hear the Holy Spirit tell me “I love you”. It was the purest “I love you” I have ever heard. After I heard this my body got super hot as if Jesus gave me the warmest hug of my life. My heart was so full. That one hug made me want to hug everyone in the world…even those who may not love me back. It was the most indescribable feeling. The Holy Spirit continued to fill me with knowledge.

“I love you more than you love yourself.”

“You are valued.”

“You are the only Barbara Elizabeth born on August 14th, 1993. Yes, I remember that day! What a great day that was!”

The Holy Spirit put three verses into my heart.

“So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. ” Matthew 10:31

“She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15 

“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels, and crowned them with glory and honor.” Psalm 8:3-5

I suddenly felt so much worth. My spirit was renewed. My soul longs for you, Jesus!

When I got home I realized how lucky I really am to be here on earth. I don’t realize how good I have it right now. The fact I desired to end my life the other day was disturbing and terrifying. I realized that theres so much more I need to do in the world before I meet with Jesus. If today was judgement day, I would be pleased with where my heart is but I wouldn’t be pleased with what I’ve done on earth yet. This time is limited my friends!