Last week I started a new routine. Instead of working, heading to the gym, and going out with friends I decided I needed to change my life up a bit. I started hiking with Jesus. This has been by far the best decision I’ve made recently. I catch myself getting trapped in satan’s lies of loneliness. Instead of wasting time to find new friends, I need to take the time to strengthen and grow my relationship with Jesus.
Yesterday, I started walking through trails I had never been on. I started to talk with Jesus about how I’ve been feeling lately. Of course, He already knew I felt lonely. I knew He was there and I knew He could hear me but I didn’t feel the Holy Spirit in my heart. I began sensing feelings as if someone was behind me, following me. I began to recognize this is only satan who is trying to deceive me. Satan is the only one who wouldn’t want me to go on this walk…I thought about turning around because I was creeped out but I didn’t. I started to sing the name “Jesus”. As I started singing my soul felt uplifted, I felt a sense that the devil was gone and all that was left was me and God in the woods together. Okay, there were mosquitos too but it’s all good! All of a sudden I’m walking on this beautiful bridge and I hear the Holy Spirit tell me “I love you”. It was the purest “I love you” I have ever heard. After I heard this my body got super hot as if Jesus gave me the warmest hug of my life. My heart was so full. That one hug made me want to hug everyone in the world…even those who may not love me back. It was the most indescribable feeling. The Holy Spirit continued to fill me with knowledge.
“I love you more than you love yourself.”
“You are valued.”
“You are the only Barbara Elizabeth born on August 14th, 1993. Yes, I remember that day! What a great day that was!”
The Holy Spirit put three verses into my heart.
“So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. ” Matthew 10:31
“She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15
“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels, and crowned them with glory and honor.” Psalm 8:3-5
I suddenly felt so much worth. My spirit was renewed. My soul longs for you, Jesus!
When I got home I realized how lucky I really am to be here on earth. I don’t realize how good I have it right now. The fact I desired to end my life the other day was disturbing and terrifying. I realized that theres so much more I need to do in the world before I meet with Jesus. If today was judgement day, I would be pleased with where my heart is but I wouldn’t be pleased with what I’ve done on earth yet. This time is limited my friends!